- In a turn of phrase I’m sure she’d be okay with, Holiday Sidewinder is an unusual performance moniker, but the name her mum saddled her with -Holiday Sidewinder Carmen-Sparks- is just a whole mouthful. For me her stage alias conjures either a rattle-snake wasted on midori-premix or an air-to-air missile that explodes in a huge burst of fireworks and confetti. The possibly Sydney, maybe London, perhaps LA-based Aussie doesn’t need my loopy imagination however, because her (kinda) debut EP, is bursting with more over-the-top, sexualised imagery than her distinctly nsfw Instagram - seriously, it’s like a collection of Samantha Fox page-threes. I was there for research but -musically speaking- I’m really glad I caught the show.
The former Bridezilla frontwoman has been pushing her seductive, neon-lit, ‘80’s pop persona since back in 2014 and winding up to her new record, Forever Or Whatever, about half of that time. At this point it’s almost more of a singles collection than anything else: so many of these numbers have already been shaking their stuff, like Vegas showgirls let loose on the strip. They’re absolutely unrepentant in that regard. Sidewinder gets a lot of comparisons to classic Madonna, but -and it’s weird to say this- she’s more of a bedroom operator than even Madge. Sidewinder doesn’t tease, she dominates.
More on that later. In terms of songcraft those comparisons are bang on. I talked about how good the ‘80’s revival scene in Oz has become -GL, Client Liaison et al- when I reviewed the previous release by Personal Best Records, Coastal Elite’s Music For Marinas. I love all of them, but Holiday Sidewinder’s efforts may force me to do something awful and pick a favourite child. She does everything that they do, from yacht rock to electro boogie and new wave, but all eight cuts on Forever Or Whatever are pop anthems in their own right. There’s not a single one that doesn’t pack sharp, individual hooks that sink their barbs in as effectively now as they would have in 1982.
I can and have listened to the whole lot four-or-five times in a row, on multiple occasions. If I started talking about what I enjoyed I probably wouldn’t stop, so I’ll just say that, even out of a set this strong, the urgent longing of Whispers is the key to one of my songs of the year. Call me old-fashioned, but it has a certain subtlety, it grinds its hips just a little less overtly than every other number and the aching suspension in the chorus might make me tearful, if I was any less jaded.
It’s interesting -if not a little dangerous- to think about Holiday Sidewinder in the context of #Metoo. Songs like the self-proclaimed thot-bopper Leo grind up men for pleasure at an alarming rate of knots: “I don’t remember his face / But I remember when I came.” In one sense it illustrates a woman powerfully in command of her own sexuality, completely turning the tables on the machismo of the ‘80s. In another sense it just reiterates the stereotypes right along with the songs of that era without any interrogation at all. If Holiday Sidewinder does actually blow-up in the mainstream, which she looks like she might, would that become problematic? That said, the last thing I want to do is shame her about it and -out the other side of that joyless buzzkill- I feel about as confident providing answers here as I am disarming a minefield with a pogostick.
What I do intend to do is this: enjoy Forever Or Whatever on a very uncomplicated level and with great gusto because it’s one of the top records of 2019. Pop this good just doesn't come along very often, in any era. Make mine a double Holiday Sidewinder, please.
- Chris Cobcroft.