Private Function: Whose Line Is It Anyway?

- I will happily die on the metaphorical hill of proclaiming -in a Louis Farrakan kind of fashion- that Private Function are the single best punk band in the country, if not the world, at the time of this review. Their reign of terror cracked open with two bombastic, barn-burning tapes, a little prelude nestled away in those as to what their debut album would be called…and then came through with an album title homage to the Rad Metal Dads and Their Music Piracy Sads. Now they combine a monetary joke right out of the highschool days and a show that took me way too much longer than I’d care to admit to come around to, for their sophomore album. In a lineage transitioning from only soundtracking blokes on wooden toys to something more towards your dad saying g’day to his glory days while your mum is off to work, Private Function manoeuvre between the punks and the middle aged blokes who lavish any chance to show their kids “what real music is”. If Private Function were my parents, I’d be right proper delighted.

To bash out your two lead singles as your welcome parade is a ballsy enough move. Private Function are a balls band and in their case, it’s a move that works well in their favour. A definite style contrast is present between two songs. I Don’t Want To Make Out With You is a rabid, anxious, clawing to escape an unwanted suitor forged into a weaponised catch cry. Frenzied vocals are cut between guitar jabs and when the chorus hits, it explodes into pub rock pastiche, oozing confidently into a border town’s new anthem. I’ve never been to the town in question but man, after hearing Albury Wodonga, it’s going to be on my tourism to-do list. Bounded along by drums that gallop, it is an outstanding homage to the town. Again, when it blasts into the chorus, Private Function prove their extensive armoury of hooks would make Glen ‘Kane’ Jacobs wish he employed them in See No Evil. When we come out of the opening high Speed Bumps brings out even more dad rock delicacies. It easily synchronises a build up beat with a rising vocal stutter. When you take this across to a pub crowd, you can imagine a whole room yelling along in cahoots. The band's SNFU styled melodic gnashing punk heritage comes along in droves with Sleep Paralysis, Make Me, and Static Electricity. An onslaught of sonic snarls bite away at your heels while forcing you to stare directly into the painful mundanity of life in oddly memorable moments. To contrast this thrashing, you get something out of the Sheer Mag catalogue with Evie (Part 4). It’s noticeably less aggressive, bopping along to an infectious groove and incorporating the only guest vocals on the record. If someone could tell me who popped on this track, that would be greatly appreciated. I love the gaudy dialogue between the two voices late in this track.

Stop Liking What I Don’t Like throws up a glaringly obvious sign of some inconsistency in the production quality among some of these tracks. It’s nothing to do with the writing or playing, there’s just some less crisp presentation on some later songs but the aforementioned one leans into the gimmick with some snot nosed whinging. Outside that Whose Line Is It Anyway? continues Private Function's unbeaten streak of banging releases. It’s that perfect blend of wicked talented musicians, piss taking sentiments draped over top shelf tunes, with an erratic and endearing personality and the incorporation of enough tasty treat -like the Lenny Kravitz cover- to keep it interesting. As they say, PF still on top.

- Matt Lynch.
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